If I killed myself now – did it without making a sound – what would happen then – all my songs would go back into the top ten – Khan would rub his hands over the record spend – and my body would be full of maggots but no one would think about that – they’ve been sold the airbrushed me that never looks like crap – that version of me can’t die – cause it lives inside people’s minds – I wasn’t born I was designed – and I’m always fine – happy, ecstatic – no one can hear the racket – in my head and in my heart and in my soul – that’s going to devour me up whole – which is why I went on stage tonight – and stood like I did in the spotlight – dressed in my own clothes – that I actually chose – cause no one knows – who I am – or understands – that my life’s not in my hands – but it is right now  so I could kill myself – not a cry for help – really kill myself – but then they’d put me on a shelf – cause suicide sells – and I’ve already been sold out – so not tonight, not tonight, not tonight, not tonight…

Read the first entry from Bright Star’s diary.

image: prateekkatyal.com