I look at myself in the mirror – and think about how much I miss her – that girl I was going to be – the one who sang and danced so awkwardly – is it too much to ask – for a life that hasn’t been choreographed – I don’t think so – so here I go go – tonight the stage is my own – going to show everyone I’ve grown – up – yup – I know there’s no rewinding – that there’s no hiding – from what I’ve done – there are no breadcrumbs – leading the way back – that’s a fact – but I can start a new chapt – er – prove I’ve got my own x factor – hold my head up high – and hope they get behind – me – breathe – I need – to breathe…

Read the full story. N-N-N-N-Nineteen starts here.